How do they do it?

As I finished out a late night at my doctor/friend’s second annual international dinner party, I was convinced that I needed a book from her library for my very own coffee table. I was torn between stealing her copy of Gray’s Anatomy or How They Do IT. I decided upon the later, as it was hard to pass up a book dedicated to the mating practices of animals. Beside that, the book had already generated plenty of conversation over dinner-- it seems that most guests interest in the subject ranged from mildly amused to disturbingly fascinated. True, I passed up a pretty good opportunity to finally determine exactly where is that elusive prostate, but I happily gained knowledge on a wide variety of other levels. The following list is really just a tip of the iceberg:

--the etiology of the human expression “screwing” apparently makes reference to the peculiar design of the boar’s penis

--Elk in Norway refer to IT as Fjornicating

--the caged male Gorilla masturbates, whereas wild ones do not

--I am glad that I am not an Octopus—they tend to have violent, even deadly coitus—though the French insist that their octopuses always do it gently stating that their males know how to behave with “une certaine delicatesse”—really...

--I found my favorite sentence ever published: “The male opossum may be like someone you know, ugly as sin but ready to have sex at the drop of a hat.”

I wonder if he will call you the next day?